Am I my brother’s keeper?

Reflections for the Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time: Ezekiel 33:7-9, Romans 13:8-10, & Matthew 18:15-20

“Am I my brother’s keeper?”, Cain asked God in a callous tone (Genesis 4:9). This isn’t just the question of a murderous brother trying to save his face but a common human response when faced with situations that demand our intervention in matters that deem is ‘not of our concern’. Am I my brother’s keeper? The Lord answers decisively in the first reading, “You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel”. Cain’s question that persists in our own relationships finds its response: we are indeed keepers to each other. The Lord further insists, “If I tell the wicked, “O wicked one, you shall surely die”, and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way, the wicked shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death”.

The liturgy of this Sunday extends an invitation to be responsible for each other. We are charged with the responsibility to correct each other fraternally when one of us risks plunging into the danger of sin. The invitation to mutual and fraternal correction is not a free license to claim moral uprightness, cause suffering to others, or publicise the failings of others. The ultimate motivation of our intervention is the conversion of the brother or sister. We are keepers and not judges and therefore our fraternal responsibility is to be carried out with charity in view of the greater good of the other. Towards this end, Jesus, in the Gospel today, unveils a three-step reconciliation process:

1. Dialogue: The first step towards reconciliation is dialogue: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother”. It is important to note here that Jesus does not specify the nature of the sin or the offence but he takes care to qualify the offender. What does this imply? It doesn't matter what the fault is, the person at fault is still your ‘brother’. Interestingly, therefore, when a fault is committed, the first duty is not to correct but to forgive. We do not accept someone back as our brother because he has corrected his fault. We correct him because he never ceased to be our brother (despite his fault).

2. Involve the community: When personal dialogue fails, Jesus recommends we take a communitarian route: take two or three along and if the issue still stands unresolved, take the matter to the Church. Winning a 'brother' or 'sister' back is not just a personal affair but involves a community dynamic. Involving the community does not mean making public the fault of someone in view of character assassination or gossiping. The community's mediation is sought again for reconciliation. While our contemporary society is pushing us in the direction of anarchic individualism, Jesus wishes us to pursue the path of common good. It is in this climate of reconciliation that we need to practice fraternal correction.

One day, a woman went to confess to Saint Philip Neri, accusing herself of having spoken ill of some people. The saint gave her absolution, but also a strange penance. He asked her to go home, take a hen and return to him, plucking its feathers along the way and dropping them on the path. When she was back in front of him, he said: "Now go home and pick up all the feathers you dropped on your way here". The woman pointed out that this was impossible: the wind must have surely scattered them everywhere. But that's precisely where Saint Philip Neri was waiting for her. You see," he told her, "just as it's impossible to pick up feathers once they've been scattered by the wind, it's impossible to undo the harm of gossip and slander once they've been uttered. The Church's involvement is not to judge who is right or who is wrong but to guide a strained relationship to integral reconciliation.

3. Repeat the process: The last step is the most puzzling: "If he refuses to listen even to the Church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector". What does Jesus mean when he asks us to treat our indifferent brother or sister as a Gentile or a tax collector? Biblists argue that these categories do not necessarily mean exclusion or ostracization. On the contrary, they are used as prototypes to characterise certain attitudes traditionally considered emblematic of certain groups. In the biblical context, a Gentile is one who refuses God and a publican is one who hates his own people. The unwilling brother does not become a Gentile or a tax collector because the Church excommunicates them. Instead, he excommunicates himself by refusing to listen to God and by his deliberate decision to part ways with the Church.

Remember, Jesus did not isolate himself from the Gentiles and the tax collectors but neither did he force himself on those who did not want to accept him. The Church, while refusing to give up on a failing brother who refuses to listen, also respects the individual’s freedom. Though serious and consequential, our responsibility as keepers does not override the God-given liberty of an individual. Today’s second reading reminds us about the love commandment. How can we talk about love as a commandment? The word ‘commandment’ here does not mean order or compulsion but evokes the ‘covenant’ that God established on Sinai through the Ten ‘commandments’. Just as the ‘commandment’ became the symbol of the ancient alliance, love, the new commandment ‘written not on stones but in hearts’ (Jeremiah 31:33) becomes the symbol of the new covenant.

Above all, listen with your heart: It is interesting to note that every single step of this three-phase reconciliation purpose has one common objective: to help your brother ‘listen’. Observe the mentioning of the word ‘listen’ in each of the three steps: If he does not ‘listen’, take one or two others along with you; If he refuses to ‘listen’ to the witnesses, tell the Church; If he refuses to ‘listen’ even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector”. It is not the gravity of the sin that estranges the offending brother from the Church but his consistent refusal to listen! Listening helps us enter each other’s worlds, perspectives, visions, and purposes. It builds bridges across walls erected by prejudices.

In the sixth century, Saint Benedict prescribed a set of rules for monastic conduct entitled The Rule of Saint Benedict (Regula Sancti Benedict. The very first rule in the Rule of St. Benedict is to listen (Obsculta): “Listen, O my son, to the teachings of your master, and turn to them with the ear of your heart.” Listening with the ear of the heart is not always a pleasant or easy experience but it is the path to radical change and transformation in the way we relate to each other. Listening with the ear of our heart enables us to achieve not just a change in our opinion or ideological stand but a much deeper change in our attitude, our way of being and doing. Treating someone as a Gentile or a tax collector is not about exclusion but about accompanying each other in the process of reconciliation, respecting each other’s liberty, and ‘listening’ to each other with the ears of our hearts!

Let us resolve to walk the three-fold path of reconciliation: dialogue, community involvement, and listening. After all, we are each other’s keepers!